random thots

sometimes..there are mad thots rushing thru my head, an inspiration for a poem, a melody, a design, a little dance, rhythm that makes my heart beat twice as fast. like when i picture myself dancing with the riverdance troup i giggle at this impossibility, but cant help but get really excited as my heart jumps with every climax the dance brings. sometimes i picture myselfrunning the amazing race, not the tv reality show kind, but the foot-on-track kind..here i am the lead runner, i'm soaring , i am slicing thru the air, going so fast everything seems a blur. i run effortlessly. i am not weary, but smile as i feel the wind embracing my face. i dont care how messy my hair looked, how horrible my fringe is going to turn out after i finish my run, but i just move on ahead..where my family and frens whom i have come to love and trust await me.
sometimes my mind is a blank, and emptiness fills its entirety. i cannot think i cannot feel but move thru the daily routine robotically. i feel no drive i feel no pain. joy, sadness, anger, wat are those? i seem to have forgotten wat it ffeels like to be any of those. it's ok, i say. tmr will be a better day. tmr comes the same thing returns for a moment things seem alrite n i'm actually laughing, but i am brot back to the reality of things n i'm back to being a piece of paper floating with the wind.why am i stuck in rewind? dont worry dear, you say. tmr will be a better day.
sometimes i feel i need a hug, but am too afraid to ask for one lest i break down when i do receive it. dont touch me, i'l say. i dont want to cry. it sadens people. you know, they always say, be happy!you never know when someone's falling in love with your smile. that's true. you dont know who's life u may be touching with ur reassuring smile of frenship, telling them, it's ok, we're here for you. tmr will be a better day.
sometimes i wish i could do all the things i ever wanted to, to fly a kite, to really know the true meaning of happiness. ok, the latter's an experience. i want to know my purpose here, the reason i'm here, put into the lives of my family, my frens and all those i've come across..my hi-bye frens, my teachers, strangers whom i just smile to for no reason. show me. help me,Lord to bring joy to those around me. i want to tell them, cheer up! we can do it together.
we can make tmr a better day.